Just for Laughs

Church Bloopers are always high on the list for Holy Humor around the world. The following are actual bloopers that appeared on Church Bulletins or were announced in various Church Services.  Thank God for Church ladies with typewriters!!

The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
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Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us beat Christ the King.
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass ! this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
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God’s Calling and Election

1 Cor 1.26 -29 speaks of God calling and selecting the lowly, the weak, and the foolish to accomplish His work.

When He makes His calling, God only asks for one ability- availability.

Are we available? If we are, it matters not that we are not wise by human standards, nor influential. It matters not the least that we are considered foolish, or weak by others. In God’s eyes, man’s foolishness and weakness is the perfect qualification to be appointed as God’s hands and mouth.(Read 1 cor 1.26-29)

 So rejoice, for we can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens us.  Halleluiah!